Just Living the College Life

Wow...it's been about 3 months since I've last written to you all. Life has been crazy!! I was barely out of school when I last updated, but now I'm a hundred miles from home in Upland, IN at college! It's so crazy to think about still after two weeks of classes.  I honestly don't know where to begin, but I do know that I want to share how incredibly blessed I am to be here.

It's just amazing to me how good God is.  He put me here at Taylor University for a reason. I've made amazing friends who feel like family already. I have professors who want to see me succeed and form a relationship with me.  I have a family who sends me goodnight messages every night because they love me and miss me at home. I have a brother here who looks out for me and wants me to have the time of my life. I have a God who gave all these things to me.  He created a beautiful natural forest and lake here for me to see every day and marvel at His creation. God has put me in a place where I see Him alive and moving in every little thing. What more could I want?!

Today is my first birthday away from home in 19 years.  I was blessed right at midnight by my awesome floormates who BURST into my room and sang "Happy Birthday" with cookies.  My suitemates brought me coffee to my first class when I overslept and missed breakfast. My brother took me out to lunch and gave me the most adorable coffee mug evaaa'! My parents organized for a cookie cake and balloons to be sent to me after they sent me a birthday package in the mail.  I have been blessed beyond all measure today.  I know God heard my cries the other night when I was dreading being away from home today and He blessed me by showing me that I don't need to be in my physical home to be loved and celebrate.

To everyone who has told me happy birthday, smiled at me, done anything at all for me today, THANK YOU!! I can't imagine spending today any differently and being where I am today if you weren't a part of my life. I pray God blesses you as much and more as He has blessed me :)

Childhood Memories

I have a summer job as a babysitter this year.  I watch a six year old girl and her 12 year old brother.  The girl just finished kindergarten and now knows how to read more or less, so she loves showing it off! Today we went to the library to sign her up for their summer reading program and have been reading all day since.  It's so much fun watching her sound out words and struggle through the books as she shows off her new skills.  I remember being her age and going to the library every summer so that I could do exactly what she is doing.  It's fun being on the other side of the spectrum this time.

As much as I enjoy watching her read and helping her do it, what I find the most fun is the fact that I have the opportunity to read the Bible to her.  Every ten minutes she reads is another box on her sheet with the summer reading program.  She wants the prize at the end of the summer more than anything, and listening to me read to her counts as time for her sheet.  She goes to a Christian school, but her family doesn't go to church.  That means that she won't hear about God at all this summer.

I noticed on her bookshelf that she has a Kids Day-By-Day Bible that takes about 10 minutes to read a day.  I saw my opportunity to change her lack of God-time in this.  She is willing to listen to the Bible because she gets to mark off time on her sheet, but I get to teach her the True Word of God.  I'm so grateful to the Lord that He has placed me in a position to share His love with His children.  Praise Him!

...And Getting Older

I've begun to learn recently that my plans and thoughts are worthless in the long run.  I don't say that for pity or in a depressing way at all.  But as I've gotten older I've learned that each day brings new challenges and new lessons for my life.  These are all preplanned by the Father for my future.  Therefore, I can't really have any plans in my life because everyday is going to change them up and turn my life around.  This isn't to say that I can't dream and hope and pursue my interests, but ultimately I have to trust God more.

Lately, I've had to delve that trust a little deeper into my God.  Some things that I thought were going to be constants in my life have become lesser, and new things are taking their places.  I don't understand why God is changing my life, but the best guess I have is that my life isn't on track with God's plan.  I think I've spent a lot of time chasing down my dreams and not chasing down God.

A few years back, I would never have made that realization.  That's part of getting older.  My mind is maturing and my spiritual maturity is developing as well.  Now I have more focus on the important areas of my life such as the Lord and His plans and His kingdom.  Earthly things are still of interest because this is where He put me, but they aren't as important as they once were.  I know God is leading me to a wonderful future where I can share His name and help His children, and I can't wait! This growing up and getting older thing used to scare me, but I'm excited now to see where I'm going! I have faith that it is exactly where I need to be!

Growing Up...

A few days ago some friends and I had the classic summer night. You know the one you see in the movies where the main characters stay up late, ride in the back of a pickup truck and look at the stars, eating junk food, and remembering good times while looking forward to new ones? That was us. It was a night I will never forget.

But looking back on it, I'm amazed at how far I've come. A few years ago I would have been scared to death to do something so carefree and thoughtless. But that's part of growing up I guess. You have to learn how to change and let go and expand. I guess I didn't realize how much I've grown as a person until recently. Soon I'll be facing life head on and taking all new chances. I can't wait.

I only pray that God has my future in line. I know He does but sometimes it's hard to believe it. I'm still struggling with what He wants me to do in certain areas of my life, but I trust He has a plan. I don't understand it, and I certainly don't think anyone else involved does either. But that's okay. Because its in God's hands. While I'm growing up, He's still the same. What a comfort that is!

"It's Not Where You're At, It's Who You're With"

Life takes so many twists and turns that it's impossible to make it through them all alone.  We have to have the support of loved ones to survive this crazy thing called life.  That personal struggle I mentioned in a previous post...well I realized today that while it was the right decision overall, bits and pieces of it need a little more adjusting.  The quote used as the title today is from one of my favorite movies.  I watched it for about the hundredth time with a friend and when that line was said, it was a huge wake-up call for me.  For so long I've been worried about my future and leaving behind everything I know.  I'm most worried about making friends, I think.  Like my future roommate. What if we don't get along or have nothing in common or like different music or something?  That terrifies me!

But as the title says, it's all about who you're with.  I know that I have made lifelong friends in high school who will have my back even from hundreds of miles away.  And my family is amazing.  I'll be near my older brother too, so I know I have him there for me at all times. Plus, most importantly, I have my God.  He will never leave me nor forsake me. I can do all things through His strength.  I can be courageous because He is with me.  So many promises in the Bible about how awesome God is and why I don't need to fear.  No matter where I am, I have God.  So I'm covered!

That's a great feeling.  I can get myself worked up about whatever I want, but these earthly trials don't matter so much.  If I just keep my heart and eyes fixed on God, He'll get me through it all. I pray that the group of girls I've had the pleasure of knowing this past year remember that as well.  I, along with two of my best friends, had the opportunity to lead six beautiful, passionate, wonderful eighth grade girls in a small group this semester.  Tonight, I watched them say goodbye to Jr. High and say hello to high school.  That's a huge milestone in their lives, and I'm so proud of the young women they're becoming.  I just pray they draw close to God.  He'll always be with them, I just hope they see His hand in their lives.

Tomorrow is my turn.  Tomorrow I officially leave high school.  Forever.  Tomorrow I am a college student.  Tomorrow...wow.  I can't wait to see where and with who I'll be in a few years.  God is so good!

Life Goes On

Tonight my school had our annual awards night to celebrate the accomplishments throughout the year.  I've been to it for the past six years, and tonight was the last time I'll participate as a student.  Yet another "last" that's taken place throughout my senior year.  But as the title of this post reads, life goes on.  Tomorrow, God-willing, I'll wake up and begin a new day with new opportunities.  I might be saying goodbye to a lot of things in my life, but I'm also saying hello to the new doors that I get to open up.

Yesterday, I had a big life change take place that will remain nameless just because it is personal.  It's sort of devastating but relieving all at the same time.  I'm still processing everything which is a hard thing to do in and of itself, but I know that God is by my side.  I know that the choices I've made leading up to this point in my life have given me a groundwork for my future.  I know that God will never leave me, and I know that He will bless my efforts if I stay close to Him and live my life for His plan.  My life might be turning upside down right now, but it'll get easier.

I spent hours tonight talking with friends about the past, the present and the future.  It's such a comfort to me to know that God has placed these girls in my life.  They have been with me through the thick and thin, and I know that I can trust them with my life.  I hope they know the same is true on this end. I hate thinking about the fact that in a few months I'll be leaving them behind as I move to a new state.  But I know that it's necessary and good and right and all God's plan.  There's a purpose for me in this life.  And life goes on...

Times Aren't the Only Things Changing

As an almost high school graduate, I feel like this summer is the perfect time to make some much needed life changes.  I don't want to compromise who I am and what I believe, but I really think this is the time to discover more about me.  In a few months I'll be heading off to a new place full of new people and have so many new options in my life.  I don't want to show up for all that and not even be totally sure about myself, you know?

I have two and a half months to figure out just who I am, exactly what I believe, and what God has in store for me.  That's so much time, I just have to be open to using it.  I can't waste my days sitting at home watching TV or surfing the web.  I need to be out exploring and seeing people and cherishing the time I have.  For all I know, my time could end tonight or tomorrow morning or next week or a month from now.  I can't spend my time waiting for something to happen when I have the ability to do it myself!

I need help though.  I can't be everywhere doing everything all at the same time.  I need other people who want to make a difference too.  I want to use this summer to impact someone else's life.  I want to make the community I live in a little bit better place.  If you have any ideas how I can do this, share them with me! I have the drive and the motivation, but I still need the means.  I hope that I can gather up some support around the country and who knows, maybe even around the world! I've always been told one person can change the world.  If that's true, how much can a lot of people do if they believe?

I'm praying that God shows me what His will is for me to do here in my hometown.  But I'm also praying for anyone who may read this.  I don't know what you're going through and I don't know what desires you have.  I do know that God has an amazing, powerful, worthwhile plan that can come about if we just follow Him.  The most I can do is try. Who's with me?

It Takes a Special Person

I want to share an experience that I had the blessing of participating in recently.  About a month ago, my senior class took our class trip to Puerto Rico! Now, who wouldn’t love 85 degree weather with a beautiful breeze and view of mountains and the sea all at once?  I know I would love to live in that climate year round if I could.  Besides the obvious perks about Puerto Rico, the country stole my heart.  The people have such welcoming hearts and the atmosphere is like nothing I have ever experienced before. 
One example of this is a couple my class had the opportunity to work with named Frankie and Gina.  This couple were strong believers in the faithfulness of the Lord Jesus Christ, and relied on Him for everything.  They had three sons, Adrian (7) and Brian and Francis (2), who they had to provide for as well.  One growing boy can be a handful, let alone three, but this family seemed to care for them with ease. 
My class painted the exterior of this family’s home as they didn’t have the resources to do so themselves.  I was given the chance to watch the twin boys for the day in order to keep them out of trouble and out of the paint.  Now, I’m used to little kids, but children who speak only Spanish is a different story. Yo hablo muy poco espanol y comprendo no mucho nada.  (I’m not even sure that makes sense, so you can see my problem.)
Nevertheless, I worked with the boys all day, playing with them, keeping them out of the way, and tiring them out so they would take a good nap later on.  By the end of the day, I was exhausted, probably even more than the twins, but I felt like I hadn’t really helped all day.  Other people were covered in paint and ready to collapse, but I was clean still.  As I was feeling this way, Frankie came up to me and thanked me for the time I invested in his sons.  He told me that his sons are difficult to take care of and he was so grateful that I had played with them that day.  He told me that anyone could pick up a paintbrush and paint a house, but only a special person could spend so much time with his children.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget Frankie’s words.  I’m one of those people who participates in a lot of activities, but I’m not really good at any of them.  But I love spending time with kids.  I never realized that could be a talent until Frankie told me it was.  That is my talent, and everyone has one.  Maybe it’s not super obvious or visible, but someday, someone will notice you working at it and appreciate you for it.  Until then, keep pursuing it with all you have.  And be on the lookout for others’ talents.  It means a lot to be appreciated, so take the time to appreciate others too.
Here’s a picture of the two beautiful boys I miss everyday.  Brian is on the left, and Francis is on the right.  Someday these boys will grow up and prove to the world they are worth more than it knows. 

Ah, Summer...

It's amazing to me how natural life is.  Even when people have falling outs or lose touch or grow apart, life keeps going.  We grieve, we learn, we grow, and we move on.  That's life.  That's how we as humans were created.  Of course we never really forget, but we learn to look past the memory and into the future instead.  A friend of mine told me today that moving past the past was one of the hardest things she's ever had to do.  I think sometimes though, trusting your move into the future is harder.  We have to give up everything we know to take that step into the unknown.  Not an easy thing to do.

That's my life though.  I'm graduating from high school on Saturday and moving on to college.  I'm leaving behind everything I've known for the past eighteen years and starting over.  That's scary, exciting, nerve wracking, and happy all at the same time.  I don't know what to feel most of the time.  This summer is the last summer here, in my comfortable, known world.  I want to make it count.  I feel the need to do something important here.  I need to leave my mark on the world before it's too late.  I can't do it alone though.

Tonight, my friends and I drove around for hours just goofing off and having fun.  A year from now, we'll all be returning from our freshman year in college and rekindling a friendship that got set aside as we made new lives for ourselves.  These friends that I can trust with my life are going to be hours, miles, states away from me in a few short months.  But that's life.

What can I say, this life is full of choices and decisions that affect our future.  They are our future.  Maybe I'll take a chance this summer.  Maybe I'll do something big, take a leap of faith, cross out of my comfort zone.  Or maybe not.  Stick with me and I'll keep you updated on the inner thoughts of my life. Here goes nothing.